We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
