I heard we made out
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
