She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
