I must be too annoying 4 u.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
