she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
