the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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