Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
