But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
