Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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