I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize
