hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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