You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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