Cold hands, warm shart.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
