I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
cat food counts as protein by the way
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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