Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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