we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
