have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
