So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
