..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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