i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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