hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
