he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
