New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
