i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
