theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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