Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Well I just put wine in my tea
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
