Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I am available for nakedness
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
