Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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