If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
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