planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
