so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
