Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
