break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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