How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
