Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
