You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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