Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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