We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
