yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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