is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
