Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
