bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
