don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
