I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
