'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
