I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
