you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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