no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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