you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
