I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
How naked do you want me to be?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
