Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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